By Paul Yung
“You are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.
Popularised by entrepreneur Jim Rohn, it’s a reminder of the influence our social circles have on our lives. From shaping our perspectives to affecting our ambitions, the company we keep is vital to our personal and professional success.
The people around us are our environment, which impacts our mindset, decisions, and overall outlook on life. Pay attention to the topics and responses that come up when you are with your inner circle.
Are you together with people who embrace growth, hard work, and positivity? Or are you spending time in the company of negativity and complacency who whine, complain and compare?
Successful people understand the power of association. High achievers intentionally spend their time with mentors, colleagues, and friends who challenge them to grow.
This is not about exclusivity; this is about fostering an environment conducive to self-improvement and progress. Surrounding ourselves with those who uplift us is key to unlocking our full potential.
How we spend our time and who we spend it with will determine our destiny.
Unlike money, time spent cannot be recovered.
Time spent with the wrong people—those who drain energy, discourage ambition, or promote destructive habits— is more expensive than we think.
Time wasted in unproductive company is time lost that could have been invested in learning, growth, or meaningful connections.
I know this may sound harsh, but time really does fly. We are already in the second quarter of 2025! Unlike money, time passes whether we like it or not. We cannot pause it or save it.
If we are not intentional about how we spend time, we will succumb to going with the flow, and that flow gets faster.
Surrounding ourselves with people who inspire and support us ensures that our time is well spent. These relationships act as catalysts for progress, fostering motivation and encouraging us to reach new heights. Choosing who we spend our time with is not just a personal preference—it is a strategic decision that can shape our future.
So what’s the secret to finding uplifting people for our inner circle?
It’s to be a person of value ourselves. We cannot expect to attract positive, ambitious, and supportive people if we do not embody those qualities.
Being a person of value means offering encouragement, wisdom, and support to those around us. It means being dependable, maintaining integrity, and actively contributing to the growth of others. When we bring positivity and strength to our relationships, we naturally attract people who do the same.
Self-improvement should be a continuous pursuit. Developing new skills, maintaining emotional intelligence, and embracing a mindset of learning make us better friends, colleagues, and mentors. By investing in ourselves, we become the kind of person others seek to have in their inner circles.
Building a positive and supportive inner circle requires effort. Here are four hacks to nurturing a powerful inner circle:
- Assess Your Current Relationships – Consider the people you spend the most time with. Are they encouraging your growth, or are they holding you back? Are they sources of inspiration or negativity?
- Be the Person You Want to Attract – If you wish to be surrounded by motivated, kind, and inspiring people, start to embody these qualities yourself. Be positive, kind and helpful, and you will start to attract more of these people in your life. You can start by monitoring the kind of content you are consuming on your social media. Consuming inspiring content from motivational influencers is a great way to start making a change to your mindset.
- Intentionally expand your circle – Engage with people who share your aspirations, values, and work ethic. Do something different to meet new people like joining professional organizations, connecting with like-minded individuals in your community or simply playing pickleball with new people!
- Distance Yourself from Toxic Relationships – Not all relationships are meant to last. If certain associations prove detrimental to your well-being, limit or end them. If you are constantly around someone who is emotionally draining, eventually it will drain you too. Sometimes it’s better to let go.
Who we choose to surround ourselves with is one of the most defining aspects of our lives. By intentionally cultivating relationships that inspire, challenge, and support us, we set ourselves up for long-term success and fulfilment.
Remember that time is our most valuable asset and investing it in the right people is a decision that can shape our future. And we can start that by being the kind of person we want to attract in our lives. Ultimately, it’s down to us!
Lastly, I would like to wish everyone celebrating Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
