GILA GILA

By Sarawakian

Last time I remember ah, there was this bagus punya magazine called Gila Gila. It was quite funny reading it you know. It is as good as that other one, called Mad magazine. Not bad lah last time. We had quite a good dose of lawak lawak. If not, you can also read senyum kambing in one newspaper. I think it was Utusan Malaysia. The satire is very the funny one.

Of course, we also ada Lat. Itu Lat is also very bagus. A few cartoons also can make you ketawa sampai roll on the ground. I remembered one where it has an eclipse with the orang tua come out from the eclipse barking “Get Back to Work!” That one kelakar man. It tells those lazy buggers who like to watch eclipse la or anything la to work instead of wasting time. Those were amazing times bah. Old man does not want people to curi tulang while at work. Ingat! Dasar Pandang Ke Timur.

Lat saya fikir is the best cartoonist. Macam macam he can think off. Even making fun of Samy Vellu about everything possible mahu toll. In those days, nobody will be marah with you kan? Nowadays, semua jadi sensitive. Sikit sikit mahu marah. Sikit sikit mahu cakap pasal kena insulted la. Macam lah no humour at all.

That is why nowadays even cartoonist boleh di label as a threat. There is Fahmi Reza. There is Zunar and there is Ernest Ng with ‘Don’t be like that la Bro’. Yeah bro, apa hal with this ayam price naik? Sekejap say float price, then say new ceiling. You main main game is it? I think it is a mainan. Purposely make you marah and then say ok ok, no float. Saya arahkan buat ceiling. Then to make it look mengancam one akan jalan sini sana with member member cari pasal with kobis.

Belum cukup? We then have one funny woman say can eat less telur if cannot afford telur. Ayam sudah mahal, so telur pun can kurang for heath reason. In Singapore, they are lagi inventive. After purifying urine to drinking water, they now ada meat grown dari sel sel. It is going to lab grown. Yes. Betul. Daging Makmal. They say the ayam taste like ayam because they use sel sel ayam. Soon, you would be eating daging bakar makmal. Guarantee meletop!

Did you know or not, plant-based meat alternatives pun sudah ada? You can go to most fast-food restaurants tak lama lagi to have plant based “chicken”. Nuggets, burgers and luncheon meat made of plants also got now. Just head to your favourite joint and see sendiri ok. I think this is better than the ayam makmal lah. That one macam some sci-fi horror show. Like Frankenstein. But Singapore sudah ada. So next time you pergi Singapura, tanya if ada ayam makmal. Then pose pose sikit put on Instagram with hashtag #ayammakmal. Tik-Tok also can. Boleh jadi famous.

Minyak masak pun also have issue now. Barang naik tapi some people can pakei baju nice tapi mahal. Now you have to use less to goreng goreng. Good also. Lebih sihat, bakar sahaja atau stim atau rebus. Harga tong gas belum so mahal. Arang pun boleh tahan harga. Petrol RON 97 already very high sampai near RM5 per litre. Sudah RM4.84 per litre. RON 95 pula still RM2.05 per liter. Diesel masih RM2.15 per liter. You punya tangki for a car also about say 36 litre on average. So if pam RON97 jadi RM174.24 and banding with RON 95 at RM73.80.

Kos hidup is going to increase. The kerajaan already start warning of inflation. But gaji macam stuck at one level because at most annual gaji naik pun 5%. Macam mana if the inflation lebih 5% for makan minum? Only way is to review the gaji. Kurangkan unhealthy habits.

Now, pilihanraya mahu datang. We can see how the parti parti would say they are back stronger. Some with court case pun boleh merayau sini sana tanpa malu bah. They can also travel here and there and have meetings here and there. Ask them to make more hospitals and improve the human resource untuk medical pun macam tak important. Macam mini Covid 19 sudah lalu jadi sudah lupa.

Sekolah pun tidak improve. Apa lagi the Wifi Connection. Sabah pun sama macam dolok. Sarawak pun sama. Cari bukit panjat pokok lo. Dapat good result pun tak dapat kuota. Ini betul betul sakit kan hati orang. Now pula want to talk about 5G bila 4G pun cannot deliver. All you can do is buat logo pakai Wifi Keluarga Malaysia. You ingat kita bodoh?

But the rakyat is to blame lo. Next time pergi voting, vote lah betul betul. Cukup lah bagi chan chan lagi. We have suffered enough la. All these bodoh bodoh politicians must di gulingkan. Sekarang dah masuk separuh masa kedua tahun 2022.What has changed? Nothing. It gets worse because the politicians mahu gaduh gaduh pasal siapa lagi baik. I think they should look in the mirror lah.

Tapi, we must also know this. Subsidy bukanlah the solution. It will create more problem. Jadi, kurangkan minyak dalam masakan. Decrease egg consumption. Kurang makan ayam dan daging. Lagi sihat. Jangat marah marah nanti your darah tinggi, Ubat pun mahal. Buatlah kerja cari duit. Not duduk wait for subsidy. If want to buat business pun, cari lah a way. Don’t always mahu minta subsidy. Let us find a way. Plants also can eat. Tauhu pun good to eat. Like tempeh.

It is a Gila Gila world out there. So, I suggest you jangan ikut gila.